that time my mom almost ran me over

by Beka Watts

Remember when I told you the Things My Mom Said category had been particularly active lately?

She took it to a new level yesterday. It’s now a Things My Mom Did category.

The things she did include, mainly, nearly running me over with her car. 

Let’s talk about that.

A few months ago, my mom an accident at work. Yesterday she had a follow-up appointment with a doctor in Albany she had never been to before so I wanted to come along and keep her company. We were both heading in different directions after the appointment so we drove separately. 

This place was tucked into such a random spot off of a main road, so when we pulled into the parking lot I quickly GPS’d directions home for her, walked over to where she was parked, and opened the passenger side door to talk to her. 

I started giving her directions. She started listening. She turned the car off. And never put it in park. 

So off goes the car, with the open passenger side door approaching like a linebacker on a blitz. I backpeddled and caught my balance as she put the car in park…and then we both started laughing so hard that we couldn’t talk or breathe and moved right into making jokes about how she brought me to a secluded location to kill me.

Little did we know, that’s exactly what one onlooker thought was happening. 

Out runs a nurse, visably concerned, asking, “Ma’am, are you ok?!?! Is everything ok?!” I tried to assure her that it was just a mistake, but she remained skeptical. Probably because I had tears running down my face from laughing so hard, and when she saw all of this go down from the window she thought I had tears running down my face from crying so hard.

And this poor woman, whose adrenal system we no doubt crashed for the remainder of the day, was, of course, our nurse. We should probably send her cookies. 

And that was Thursday.

Who says living at home is boring?